http://buildingmywings.com/2009/10/03/on-walking-the-talk/ "You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down." - Ray Bradbury Fri, 01 Jul 2011 16:38:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://buildingmywings.com/2009/10/03/on-walking-the-talk/#comment-56 Natalie Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:51:03 +0000 http://buildingmywings.com/?p=162#comment-56 Riveting read and well done for putting up your boundary and maintaining it. His subsequent behaviour only served to prove that you were right to do it. He sounds like a complete dipstick and the time and energy spent catering to his whims, never mind the anxiety, is energy that you no longer use that can put to good use maximising your efforts with people that deserve it. Riveting read and well done for putting up your boundary and maintaining it. His subsequent behaviour only served to prove that you were right to do it. He sounds like a complete dipstick and the time and energy spent catering to his whims, never mind the anxiety, is energy that you no longer use that can put to good use maximising your efforts with people that deserve it.

]]> http://buildingmywings.com/2009/10/03/on-walking-the-talk/#comment-41 theodicy Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:40:57 +0000 http://buildingmywings.com/?p=162#comment-41 I feel like I have to relearn this lesson every six months. Or more. I feel like I have to relearn this lesson every six months. Or more.

]]> http://buildingmywings.com/2009/10/03/on-walking-the-talk/#comment-36 Fawn Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:21:42 +0000 http://buildingmywings.com/?p=162#comment-36 Yup. And the meta-lesson (sorry, pun not intended) is "learn to set boundaries." Some of us, women in particular, were raised to believe that the most important thing in the world is to be nice, and that it's not nice to say no. And we spend half our adult lives unlearning it. Yup. And the meta-lesson (sorry, pun not intended) is “learn to set boundaries.” Some of us, women in particular, were raised to believe that the most important thing in the world is to be nice, and that it’s not nice to say no. And we spend half our adult lives unlearning it.

]]> http://buildingmywings.com/2009/10/03/on-walking-the-talk/#comment-35 mathew Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:56:55 +0000 http://buildingmywings.com/?p=162#comment-35 I think the lesson is, set boundaries early. There are people who, if they get away with it once, will proceed to push and push for every little bit of extra advantage they can get. I'm not sure if it's deliberate or whether it's something they do instinctively, but the solution seems to be to put the smackdown politely the first time they try to call outside regular working hours with a non-emergency. ("OK, I'll get to that as soon as I'm back at work Monday morning, and you'll have an answer within 24 hours.") I think the lesson is, set boundaries early. There are people who, if they get away with it once, will proceed to push and push for every little bit of extra advantage they can get. I’m not sure if it’s deliberate or whether it’s something they do instinctively, but the solution seems to be to put the smackdown politely the first time they try to call outside regular working hours with a non-emergency. (“OK, I’ll get to that as soon as I’m back at work Monday morning, and you’ll have an answer within 24 hours.”)

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