Comments on: On being “high maintenance”

By: Melissa

Melissa — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:28:07 +0000

Amen, sister! As I tweeted last night, If he thinks I’m “too high-maintenance,” he obviously doesn’t deserve me! (Spoken by a woman whose boyfriend likes to tease that I’m “high maintenance”… but also says I’m worth it. And ditto for me. ;-))

By: Fawn

Fawn — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:44:37 +0000

Someone who constantly plays the victim and/or kicks up chaos isn’t “high maintenance,” they’re flat-out dysfunctional.

By: debbie

debbie — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:55:52 +0000

I think of it in terms of individuals. And really even some houses, cars and careers are too high maintenance and people leave them too.

I thought it was an interesting example when one of my exs arrived at my parent’s house with her car on fire. She was high maintenance, not that a person/relationship isn’t high priority, not that I didn’t cherish and love and respect her, but for various reasons it was a crisis to crisis life, that was very challenging. For someone, she was the right person, not for me though.

By: Fawn

Fawn — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:57:55 +0000

Oooh, David, that is a great way of looking at it.

Whenever I’ve heard the term, it’s been a pejorative — usually applied to a woman who’s asking a man for something he’s not willing to give.

By: David

David — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:24:11 +0000

Interesting. I never thought of high/low maintainance as referring to relationships; when I’ve heard the term, it’s usually about individuals. All relationships require work, of course, but in this context, I’d say someone is (too) high maintainance if they demand more than they’re willing to give.

By: marjorie

marjorie — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:03:33 +0000

we should all be so high-maintenance! expected to be treated as someone’s top priority should be BASELINE!